


Welcome to the Lucifanclub

by KitskItloof (WitswItloof)



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Flirting, M/M, Not Beta Read, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Possibly OOC, Rating May Change, Reader-Insert, Short Chapters Probably, like zero plot planned at all, male reader - Freeform, slow burn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22826470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitswItloof/pseuds/KitskItloof
Summary: (Lucifer x Male!Reader/Masculine NB!Reader oneshots basically; reader is referred to as a boy but I'll try to avoid pronouns nonetheless)You're not much of a memorable person. You're just Y/N L/N in the lovely city of LA, you're underdressed for most occasions, and you're an enigma in a box covered in paradoxes (a parabox, if you will) locked shut with a puzzle padlock. Maybe that last part is why a certain fallen angel has you locked in his sights so firmly.
Relationships: Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 61





	1. In The Beginning

> _In the beginning..._
> 
> _The angel Lucifer was cast out of Heaven and condemned to rule Hell for all eternity._
> 
> _...Until he decided to take a vacation._

But that has nothing to do with you, does it? The one thing that does concern you is what you're ready to do this weekend, and right now your mind is entirely blank. 

You spend a bit of time scrolling on your computer, legs twitching impatiently. You can't settle down with your mind so scattered for whatever reason it is this time -- Heavens know why -- so you give up on your laptop and shut it a little more forceful than you wanted to. If you're so stir crazy, you might as well wander the streets of a massive city where you can get your life ruined or even ended around every corner; that's a very smart idea, isn't it?

You laugh to yourself at your snarky inner monologue and pluck your cellphone from where it was left to charge, changing out of the pants you fell asleep in and into some worn jeans paired with tossing a hoodie over your comfortable sleeping t-shirt. All that's needed is to slip into your shoes, some old sneakers that have clearly seen better days, and exit your home. Your apartment building is very understated, but not so cheap that it'd be seen as seedy or 'needing of some TLC'; you weren't going to let yourself be duped into that when you moved in. You have a certain... level of _expertise_ when it comes to bargaining. This place was nice without being flashy.

Maybe that's why you were so comfortable in wandering the streets like you were now, in such a comfortable and moderately safe place. Besides, it's the middle of the day, it's not like a criminal is about to come running into your arms with cops chasing them like sharks at the taste of blood, right?

As soon as you had that thought, barely three steps out of the building, you looked to your side and found someone running directly at you. Any smart person would jump back at this point, but you never liked playing by the rules of things that, you know, decide whether or not you still live. Instead of doing the reasonable thing, you took a quick second to sigh before turning to face the runner fully. They lifted up their arms to no doubt shove you away in the split second it'd take for you to collide, but you didn't hesitate to shoot a hand out. Apparently the sudden collision of fist and face didn't help with your already questionably high strength as they fell like a sack of bricks, limp at your feet while two other figures (probably the pursuers) slowed their pace upon seeing you and their victim in such a situation.

You gave a quick wave and dusted yourself off as the two approached the limp body of the suspicious possible-criminal, one being a girl with a ponytail and the other being a smartly dressed man, both regarding you with confusion and shock. "Sorry if I took the fun out of it, officers," you said casually, taking a leap at who they might be. If they were crime bosses, though, maybe you'd be in good graces with one of the local mobs, though you didn't need much bettering on that part.

"No, it's..." the woman began, lowering the gun you had only now registered she was holding. She slid it back into its holster, dropping her train of thought and putting two fingers on the criminal's neck. You fought the urge to scoff; you didn't hit anywhere near hard enough to kill.

"What a shame," the man said in a posh accent, adjusting the suit jacket he wore. He held a hand out to you with a disarming smile, but you already knew not to trust it. You don't know _why_ you shouldn't trust such a smile, but you just had a gut feeling, and your hunches were _never_ wrong before. "Lucifer," he said, head tilting in a curious fashion, "Morningstar."

"Club owner and/or ruler of Hell." You shook his hand firmly and his brows raised at the recognition. Truth be told, you hadn't been to any clubs before, but that doesn't mean that you haven't heard of his. He's been all over the news lately. You're a little shocked that you didn't recognize his face. "I like it."

"To whom do I owe the _pleasure_ of meeting?" he asked with a faint purr, putting flirtatious emphasis on 'pleasure'. You glanced back at the woman with him for a brief moment before locking eyes with his again. "Don't worry about the detective, she has this handled."

"Yeah, thanks for the help," she grumbled while the criminal you so delicately helped get some rest stirred, waking up. She didn't hesitate to cuff them as they grumbled, already beginning to bruise. "Who's--" She was cut off when she glanced up, both her partner and the helpful stranger missing, Lucifer once again leaving her to do the dirty work now that the fun was over. She was a bit annoyed that she still wasn't used to it just yet.

* * *

"Come now, at least let me buy you a drink!" You smiled calmly at the raven-headed playboy, brow raised. "If you're worried about payment, I have more than enough to--" He was shut up swiftly when you placed a finger over his lips. You felt him smile against your fingertip as you leaned in closer, pushing him against the wall behind him. You hadn't gone far, just down another street so the detective could no longer see you.

You pulled your hand away with your eyes half-lidded while staring into Lucifer's own brown-red mix; you could practically taste his expectation of sexual exploits with each pump of your heart. "I know," you whispered quietly, voice breathy enough to be seductive. This no doubt sparked his interests even more. "I know a _lot_ about you, Mister Morningstar--" That's a lie. "--and I know what else you can do to _thank me_ properly." You pulled your hand away from his face, placing your other on his thigh and slowly trailing it up. Your voice was a growl and it would be safe to hazard a guess that he was getting goosebumps.

"Oh, _any_ way works," he flirted back, not hesitating in leaning closer to you. You put a hand on his chest and he paused, eyes still on your lips. You took that as a chance to gnaw at your lower lip, not hiding your smirk in the slightest.

"Maybe some other time, yeah?" you asked with a cheerful lilt that still held enough sexual tension that it was practically soaking it in from the air between you. "You and I can meet somewhere more..." The hand on his chest trailed down just as the one on his thigh lifted up. "...private. Somewhere where we can..." You moved both hands underneath his jacket, palms running over the luxurious material of his vest and wrapping around his waist as you pressed your chest against his. "... _get better acquainted together_." Your words were practically breathed out with how soft they were and his smile only grew, even as you pulled away. 

"When, and _where_ , will that time be?" your new 'friend' asked excitedly, adjusting his clothes and hair to blindly freshen up from your not very disguised groping.

"I know where to find you, don't worry," you assured him in a more normal tone of voice than the seductive, husky promises you had earlier. "Plus, it'd be _very_ rude to keep a man as..." You reached up, gently trailing your fingertips across his jawline and feeling the prickle of dark stubble left on a roguishly handsome face. He leaned into your hand right as you pulled away, keeping yourself just out of his reach. "...let's call you _special_. A man as _special_ as you waiting."

He laughed softly, eyes sliding shut. He opened his jacket a bit and reached in with his other hand to grab the flask he was so acquainted with only to feel a _very_ empty pocket. His eyes fluttered open to find that you were entirely missing while he pat himself down, finding more things missing from his person. His excited and confident expression turned into shock before fading into a mix of annoyance and slight admiration.

"...Impressive, stranger," he whispered to himself, fighting another laugh. "Quite impressive indeed..."

You didn't need to hear him to make assumptions, busy counting bills you swiped up and getting a very hearty swig of whiskey. To think, you assumed today would be _boring_.


	2. The Devil Never Forgets

"It's not wise to steal from the Devil, Mister Thief," a voice brought your attention from where you sat at the bar. Sure, it was barely noon, but it's five o'clock somewhere, right?

"It's not wise to let strange men feel you up, Mister Morningstar," you rebutted, placing another wad of bills onto the polished wood of the countertop as your drink was refilled by a bartender who clearly knew better than to stick their nose into someone else's business. "I mean, haven't you been robbed before? Dressed posh, talking about wealth, is this _really_ your first rodeo?" You gave Lucifer a sly grin, one brow raised and head ever so slightly tilted. He didn't seem angry, smiling back and leaning closer.

"What makes you think that you'll get away with it?" He ordered himself his own drink, tapping his fingers on the counter. Your eyes were drawn to the ring he wore before you looked up at him again and with how he raised both brows and gave you a look that screamed 'I dare you', you knew better than to go after that piece. "The Devil never forgets a face."

"I don't expect you to." You sipped at your drink, unaffected by the slight burn left behind as it trailed down your throat. "Maybe I _wanted_ you to find me."

"Is that all you wanted?" he asked with an expression that looked like he thought he had already won. "Tell me, little thief... What do you desire?" His gaze looked so serious yet so playful, like a cat observing the cornered mouse that he knew exactly how to pounce on. You went quiet for a few seconds, taking in those borderline hypnotic brown-red eyes, his pupils narrowed into small dots despite how dark the room was as he looked directly into your E/C own.

The corner of your mouth twitched into a crooked smile, pushing away and turning back to your drink. You lifted up the glass and swallowed the rest of it before gently setting it down with a clink, glancing at Lucifer from the corner of your eye; he looked confused and curious at your reaction... or lack thereof. "What's it to you?" you asked, but it was playful rather than defensive. "Isn't not knowing the best part of the mystery? Cat and mouse without any clue as to where I'll turn..." You reached out again, scooting your barstool closer and turning to face him once more. Your hand rested on his forearm, slowly moving up to cup his cheek. A confused smirk was now across his dashingly handsome features whilst he awaited your reaction. "The real question now is who is hunting whom."

You slipped from your seat and made for the door, sure to sway your hips as you felt him watching you. You knew for a fact that this won't be the end of it and he clearly did, too.

Probably because you still haven't given him any of his things back.

* * *

"I don't like it when people run from me, little thief." You didn't even jolt when you heard his voice behind you when you entered your apartment. You simply shut the door behind you and kicked your shoes off, as you usually do after a day of fun. "...Well, maybe I do, but that doesn't matter right now, does it? You have something of mine, and I--" 

"Let's make a deal." You moved to sit across from where he was casually resting in one of your armchairs, you now sitting on the couch and crossing one leg over the other. 

"Color me intrigued, little thief," he said with a grin, leaning back and intertwining his fingers. He looked far beyond interested in you at this point and you had a feeling that even when he gets his things back, this won't be the end of your run-ins. "How about you give me my things and in return--"

"No, I'd prefer to be..." You smiled, putting on your best seductive voice and expression. "...in _control_ here. I doubt you'd have any problems with that, right?""

His smile looked a bit more forced. "When it comes to my things, I'm not the most patient."

"Which makes it all the more fun when things _come_... to light, right, Mister Morningstar?" You shifted your legs so you now had the position was reversed; right leg under left and left leg over right. "You want to know a lot about me, right? Why don't you tell me what you want to know first? Don't worry, no deal is made yet; you'll get something _much_ better after we work things out."

He dropped his smile for a more serious look, glancing you over inquisitively. "Well... Maybe I do have some questions."

"Shoot. I'm an open book." He scoffed in doubt and you chuckled softly. "I never said that my text would be the most clear-cut, but you're welcome to..." You rolled your shoulders and leaned forward, smiling and looking up at him with half-lidded eyes. "... _spread me_ in any way you'd like. I can handle some more wear and tear, Mister Morningstar."

"Let's start with something simple, then: Who are you?" You hummed, leaning back and throwing an arm over the couch casually. 

"Y/N." 

He raised his brows expectantly before continuing on at your lack of clarification, "Any last name?"

"I do have one, yes."

"...And what would it be, Y/N?"

"L/N."

He seemed thrown for a loop at how you were taking his questions so literally. Maybe he was offended that his own tactics of loopholes were used against him, though you felt like he was a bit impressed amidst his annoyance. "What do you do?"

"Breathe, eat, blink, pump blood--" He huffed and you laughed, waving him off and shaking your head. "Fine, fine, I'll drop that. You and I are more similar than you'd want to admit." 

"I highly doubt that," he said while looking over your casual attire.

"Trust me, Mister Morningstar..." You smiled in a devious way that, to most people, might even be threatening. "...The one way we might be different is how I know when to _look away_ from things I know I can't have. _I_ know when to _quit_." He had a look of realization on his face as something in his mind clicked, but you had already stood up. "I also just remembered something I need to do, so we'll have a bit of a raincheck on our deal. Don't worry, Mister Morningstar," you said with a smile while slipping your shoes back on. "I _never_ forget a face."

It was hard to tell if how you left him in your home so casually or if you used his own words against him was the cause of his slightly shocked expression while he watched the door you had left out of. There was something about you...

...something that didn't fit in with this world.


End file.
